Day 25: Full Moon, Fire Drills, and Financial Irresponsibility

Aug 10
3 min read

Last night was the Sturgeon Moon - big, bright, and beautiful.

Apparently it also triggers my cats into a three-day festival of chaos.

They don’t just meow during full moons; oh no, they hold conversations.

Full-on TED Talks at 3 a.m. accompanied by zoomies that could rival a Formula 1 pit crew.

At midnight, my night took a turn. Woke up to the strongest burning smell I’ve ever experienced - so strong I launched myself out of bed like an Olympic gymnast.

Within five minutes, I’d checked the entire house, garden, and possibly half the street.

My OCD made me repeat the search just in case my first round of fire inspection wasn’t thorough enough to pass MI5 standards.

Turned out, some absolute genius decided that midnight was the perfect time to spark up a bonfire.

Not a cosy little marshmallow-roasting situation - no, this was the sort of blaze you could probably see from space.

And it didn’t just burn for a bit; oh no, it smouldered like a disgruntled dragon until this afternoon.

The whole neighbourhood smelled like we were auditioning for a Guy Fawkes festival… in August.

Somewhere out there, a neighbour named Kev (probably) is standing in his garden, poking the embers, muttering, “Lovely bit of heat, this.”

Meanwhile, I’m inside planning my escape route and wondering if I should start keeping my passport in my dressing gown pocket.

Started the day with coffee laced with collagen, then had a long, steamy bath and my now-famous Instagrammable protein bowl (which frankly deserves its own fan club).

Unfortunately, the glamour was short-lived because I suddenly felt faint, nauseous, and weirdly feeble.

Low blood pressure?

Low sugar?

Or maybe my body just couldn’t cope with the emotional rollercoaster of last night’s impromptu fire drill.

Perked up enough to spend the day at Bluewater with my better half.

Shopping with ADHD is basically an extreme sport.

Came home with:

2 pairs of shoes (obviously essential)
2 cookbooks (never mind that I haven’t cooked half the recipes from the last five)
A glorious “Sunshine Town” book nook divider from Rolife (for my future tiny village empire)
A “cat person” mug from my spiritual home, Oliver Bonas.

Honestly, I should have shares in that place. Or at least a seat on the board.

Then off to the cinema to watch Jurassic Park: Rebirth.

Not sure what to say about that one…

Great effects, great cast, but honestly - the number of scenes where people should definitely have been eaten by various dinosaurs but somehow survived was ridiculous.

We’re talking “stood there screaming for a full 10 seconds while a T-Rex politely waited for them to finish” levels of unrealistic.

Whole groups got cornered by raptors and escaped without so much as a nibble.

At one point, a giant carnivore literally tripped and let the humans get away - I half expected it to give them a little wave and say, “Off you pop, then.”

If I wanted unrealistic survival odds, I’d just watch me trying to keep a houseplant alive.

Had some sweet and salty popcorn and chicken bits while watching the movie, so wasn't hungry at all after that.

Home in time to squeeze in episode two of The Assassin before bed - and maybe something else if I can stay awake.

Feeling better than earlier, though my throat and right ear are now staging a protest.

We’ll see what fresh hell that brings tomorrow.

Night night, my fellow Jabbers - may your moons be full, your fires be controlled, and your dinosaurs slightly more realistic.

With Love,

JABatha Christie

Last night was the Sturgeon Moon - big, bright, and beautiful.

Apparently it also triggers my cats into a three-day festival of chaos.

They don’t just meow during full moons; oh no, they hold conversations.

Full-on TED Talks at 3 a.m. accompanied by zoomies that could rival a Formula 1 pit crew.

At midnight, my night took a turn. Woke up to the strongest burning smell I’ve ever experienced - so strong I launched myself out of bed like an Olympic gymnast.

Within five minutes, I’d checked the entire house, garden, and possibly half the street.

My OCD made me repeat the search just in case my first round of fire inspection wasn’t thorough enough to pass MI5 standards.

Turned out, some absolute genius decided that midnight was the perfect time to spark up a bonfire.

Not a cosy little marshmallow-roasting situation - no, this was the sort of blaze you could probably see from space.

And it didn’t just burn for a bit; oh no, it smouldered like a disgruntled dragon until this afternoon.

The whole neighbourhood smelled like we were auditioning for a Guy Fawkes festival… in August.

Somewhere out there, a neighbour named Kev (probably) is standing in his garden, poking the embers, muttering, “Lovely bit of heat, this.”

Meanwhile, I’m inside planning my escape route and wondering if I should start keeping my passport in my dressing gown pocket.

Started the day with coffee laced with collagen, then had a long, steamy bath and my now-famous Instagrammable protein bowl (which frankly deserves its own fan club).

Unfortunately, the glamour was short-lived because I suddenly felt faint, nauseous, and weirdly feeble.

Low blood pressure?

Low sugar?

Or maybe my body just couldn’t cope with the emotional rollercoaster of last night’s impromptu fire drill.

Perked up enough to spend the day at Bluewater with my better half.

Shopping with ADHD is basically an extreme sport.

Came home with:

2 pairs of shoes (obviously essential)

2 cookbooks (never mind that I haven’t cooked half the recipes from the last five)

A glorious “Sunshine Town” book nook divider from Rolife (for my future tiny village empire)

A “cat person” mug from my spiritual home, Oliver Bonas.

Honestly, I should have shares in that place. Or at least a seat on the board.

Then off to the cinema to watch Jurassic Park: Rebirth.

Not sure what to say about that one…

Great effects, great cast, but honestly - the number of scenes where people should definitely have been eaten by various dinosaurs but somehow survived was ridiculous.

We’re talking “stood there screaming for a full 10 seconds while a T-Rex politely waited for them to finish” levels of unrealistic.

Whole groups got cornered by raptors and escaped without so much as a nibble.

At one point, a giant carnivore literally tripped and let the humans get away - I half expected it to give them a little wave and say, “Off you pop, then.”

If I wanted unrealistic survival odds, I’d just watch me trying to keep a houseplant alive.

Had some sweet and salty popcorn and chicken bits while watching the movie, so wasn't hungry at all after that.

Home in time to squeeze in episode two of The Assassin before bed - and maybe something else if I can stay awake.

Feeling better than earlier, though my throat and right ear are now staging a protest.

We’ll see what fresh hell that brings tomorrow.

Night night, my fellow Jabbers - may your moons be full, your fires be controlled, and your dinosaurs slightly more realistic.

With Love,

JABatha Christie

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