Strap in. Cancel plans. Text your loved ones. Hydrate aggressively. This post is going to be LONGER, LOUDER, UNHINGED, UNEDITED, and EXTREMELY JABatha. Right. FIRST THINGS FIRST. Admin. Housekeeping. Clearing the air. YES - I am aware I vanished. NO - this was not a creative sabbatical. NO - this was not a “strategic pause”. NO - this was not a soft launch of mystery, intrigue, or personal rebrand. NO - I did not go on Eat Pray Love. If anything, I went on Cough Wheeze Dissoc

Monday. Office day. Also known as the weekly episode of “Will I Survive The Mounjaro Freeze or Become a Decorative Ice Sculpture Found in Zone 2?” Honestly, the way this jab has turned me into a walking glacier should qualify me for some sort of winter survival show. I slept in TWO layers of clothes, plus a duvet, plus a blanket, plus the heating on full blast. At this point I’m basically sleeping inside my own personal Michelin Man cosplay. And STILL I was cold. I woke up at

A three-day saga of pain, drama, collagen powder and bacon-roll trauma. Let me start with this: I had to squeeze three days into one post because life decided to throw me into a blender set on “puree.” Honestly the first half of this week was so horrendous - at work and outside - that I’m convinced I briefly astral-projected out of my own body, looked at myself, and said: “No babe… not today.” But hey, it happens to the best of us, right? MONDAY — Aka: Who Woke Me Up at 5am a

Ah, Wednesday. Bin day. The day of domestic glamour and olfactory challenges. I awoke to the gentle purr of Ruby - my sweet, spewy alarm clock - perched elegantly upon my chest. A vision of feline serenity… until I realised she had once again redecorated the carpet. And, for added flair, the freshly washed duvet. With undigested food. Truly, a multi-sensory experience. Poor baby. Although… between her nausea and my appetite swings, I’m beginning to suspect she’s been sneaking

Ahhh Mondays. That cursed invention of the calendar where the universe collectively decides to remind you that the weekend is over and...

This morning, I had the privilege (read: punishment) of tuning into Meow Cast FM, also known as The Cat Podcast, which aired live from 3...

Saturday was completely written off. Like, stamped, shredded, and sent back to sender. Why? Because yours truly thought it was a good...

Alright, buckle in, darling, because JABatha Christie is about to serve you Day 65: The Nausea Games, and as always, it’s a full...

Again, slept like a baby – which in my world apparently means waking up tired, confused, and wondering who swapped my body for a sack of...

Oh hello, my lovely chaos companions - welcome to Day 63, otherwise known as the day I proved I am both hopelessly romantic and mildly...

Good evening, Jabbers. Reporting live from the Land of Cushions, Collagen, and Chaos. Today was… a lot. Let’s begin. Morning Mayhem: The...

Wow. Sixty days on a jab. SIXTY. I feel like I should get a medal, or at least a badge that says “Ask me about my suppressed appetite and...

Oh my word. Strap in, my dear readers, because Jabatha has lived through two days of pure chaos that could easily be turned into a...

Wow. Just WOW. Yesterday evening my ADHD decided to make a full dramatic entrance back into my life like it was auditioning for Britain’s...

Friends, gather round, because Day 56 was a full-on episode of “The Jabatha Show: Chaos Edition.” First things first - no cat podcast...

Week 4 Weigh-In: The One Where I Graduate to the Big Jab Ladies, gents, and fellow jabbers… Week 4 weigh-in is in the bag. And the...

Last night, in a move both glamorous and vaguely medical, I slapped a fresh estrogen patch squarely onto my right butt cheek. Felt like a...

Last night was the Sturgeon Moon - big, bright, and beautiful. Apparently it also triggers my cats into a three-day festival of chaos....

Week 3 Weigh-In - The Plot Twist No One Asked For Drumroll please… 🥁 climbs onto the scale like it’s a medieval torture device… and the...

Slept like an angel. An angel with a cat’s bum lovingly pressed into her face, because apparently that’s how cats express trust now. What...