Wow. What. A. Night. Friends, Romans, Jabbers… lend me your disinfectant. Because I have survived the feline equivalent of a zombie apocalypse - but with more hairballs and less sense of mercy. Let’s start with the obvious: I did not sleep. At all. Well, maybe there was an hour in there somewhere, sandwiched between the sounds of retching, the frantic scrabble of paws, and me muttering, “Oh God, not again,” into a roll of kitchen towel. My poor baby Ruby - Queen of Chaos, Duc

My darlings, please accept my deepest apologies for the radio silence - I promise I haven’t been abducted by Vecna or enrolled in a champagne appreciation course (though both are equally plausible). The truth is far simpler and far more fabulous: I was celebrating my birthday. And not just any birthday - the kind that leaves your liver writing strongly worded letters to your brain. Let us rewind to Friday, a.k.a. Day 93, a.k.a. “The Great London Adventure.” FRIDAY - Strange

A JABatha Christie Original: Thursday, Sponsored by Fatigue, Felines, and Fear of Coldwater. My darling Jabbers, we’ve made it to Day 92. Ninety-two whole days of jabs, naps, soup, and the occasional near-death experience with carpet vomit. And speaking of carpets - you’ll be delighted to know that there was no sick today! A small victory in the household, as I awoke to Ruby’s usual 5am Podcast of Chaos (working title: Purring, Shuffling, and Random Headbutts: The Feline Awak

Ah, Wednesday. Bin day. The day of domestic glamour and olfactory challenges. I awoke to the gentle purr of Ruby - my sweet, spewy alarm clock - perched elegantly upon my chest. A vision of feline serenity… until I realised she had once again redecorated the carpet. And, for added flair, the freshly washed duvet. With undigested food. Truly, a multi-sensory experience. Poor baby. Although… between her nausea and my appetite swings, I’m beginning to suspect she’s been sneaking

My darling Jabbers, please forgive my radio silence these past four days - I assure you I have neither joined a cult nor eloped with a breadstick. It’s simply been… two lazy days and two crazy days. A true yin and yang of Mounjaro life. The scales of chaos and calm delicately balanced atop a pile of cat sick, mashed potatoes, and questionable decision-making. Let’s dive in. Saturday: The Day of the Sick Cat and Cancelled Zen The day began as all great tragedies do: with a noi

Slept like an absolute dream. Honestly, my bed deserves an award. A BAFTA, an MBE, something. It’s the only consistent relationship in my...

Apologies for the radio silence, my fellow Jabbers! I have been under the weather - and not in a poetic, “moody raincloud over a Paris...

Weigh-in day, baby! The alarm went off and before I even opened my eyes, I knew today was the day of reckoning. First, though, I had to...

The Plot Thickens (or Should I Say Thins?) Ladies, gents, and fellow carb detectives – welcome to Episode 77 of CSI: My Waistline. This...

Day 77. WOW. Let’s talk about sevens. In numerology, a single 7 means wisdom, intuition, and spiritual awakening. Basically, it’s the...

Another office day. Another 5am wake-up. At this point, I feel like I should just legally change my name to “The Human Alarm Clock”...

Ahhh Mondays. That cursed invention of the calendar where the universe collectively decides to remind you that the weekend is over and...

Alright, buckle up my darling Watsons, because Day 69 isn’t just another diary entry – this is the origin story of JABatha Christie. The...

Well my darlings, today was supposed to be a productive “office-ready, power-suit, boss-lady” kind of day. But instead, the universe...

Saturday was completely written off. Like, stamped, shredded, and sent back to sender. Why? Because yours truly thought it was a good...

Alright, buckle in, darling, because JABatha Christie is about to serve you Day 65: The Nausea Games, and as always, it’s a full...

Again, slept like a baby – which in my world apparently means waking up tired, confused, and wondering who swapped my body for a sack of...

Oh hello, my lovely chaos companions - welcome to Day 63, otherwise known as the day I proved I am both hopelessly romantic and mildly...

Good evening, Jabbers. Reporting live from the Land of Cushions, Collagen, and Chaos. Today was… a lot. Let’s begin. Morning Mayhem: The...

Wow. Sixty days on a jab. SIXTY. I feel like I should get a medal, or at least a badge that says “Ask me about my suppressed appetite and...