There are moments in life when you know something significant is happening. Getting married. Buying a house. Accidentally replying all to an email. And then… Standing in your kitchen, holding what can only be described as the world’s most expensive tiny pen, wondering whether you’re about to become a healthier version of yourself or accidentally inject your spleen. That was me. One year ago. One tiny jab. One enormous amount of unnecessary drama. Because if you’ve been here f

So, after Thursday’s unexpected episode of “The Street That Never Sleeps,” complete with police cars, heart palpitations, an optical migraine and my Visible Band having what can only be described as an existential crisis, I was hoping Friday might decide to be a little kinder. It didn’t exactly roll out the red carpet, but it did at least stop throwing quite so many surprises at me. Friday - Running on Empty (and Electrolytes) Friday was another work from home day because I w

Wow… what an evening and what a night... The pain. Bloody hell. I honestly don’t know whether yesterday’s steroid injection actually went into my shoulder or somehow took a scenic detour and ended up in my brain stem. At this point I’m willing to consider all possibilities because it would certainly explain why my neck has all the flexibility of a Victorian grandfather clock. Need to look left? Not happening. Need to look right? Also not happening. Need to look behind me? Wel

Well… If you’ve made it this far… Firstly… Congratulations. This is the fial part of a missing JABatha story. Secondly… I think you probably deserve a Hydrava. Or a gin. Possibly both. If somebody had told me back on Day 195 that this would be my life 156 days later… I’d have laughed. Then probably thrown something at them. Because none of this was part of the plan. The plan was simple. Lose the weight. Come off Mounjaro. Enjoy my new wardrobe. Go on holiday. Dance behind the

Something changed in me over the last few months. Not physically. Mentally. And I don’t think I admitted it to myself until very recently. I’ve always been the person who gets on with things. Problem? Fix it. Feeling rubbish? Push through. Someone tells me I can’t do something? Watch me. I’ve always been stubborn. Probably too stubborn. It’s one of my best qualities. It’s also one of my worst. Because you can’t out-stubborn your own nervous system. Believe me… I’ve tried. For

Let’s just change the subject for a minute. Because as if PoTS, Orthostatic Hypotension, Long Covid, hospital appointments, blue feet, compression socks and my body’s complete refusal to cooperate weren’t enough… There’s also the tiny little matter of… Mounjaro. Remember that? The injection that this entire blog started with. The injection that changed my life. The injection I swore I was coming off. Yeah… About that. If you’ve followed this blog from Day One, you’ll know I’d

One thing nobody warns you about when you’re diagnosed with a chronic condition is that you don’t just lose your health for a while. You lose little pieces of yourself. Not all at once. Not dramatically. They just quietly disappear. One by one. And before you know it, you wake up one morning and realise you’ve become someone you don’t quite recognise. That bit… That bit has been harder than I ever imagined. I miss being spontaneous. I miss saying, “Fancy going out?” without f

Ok let's talk about it. So I officially have PoTS. Excellent. Now what? This is the bit nobody tells you. Getting a diagnosis feels like crossing a finish line. You spend months trying to work out what’s wrong with you, finally get an answer and think… “Right… brilliant. Now fix me.” Except… There isn’t really a fix. There’s management. There’s learning. There’s trial and error. There’s discovering your body has become more high maintenance than a Range Rover. Nobody actually

So there I was… Completely convinced I was just taking a little bit longer than everyone else to recover. Because that’s what we all do, isn’t it? We compare ourselves to absolutely everyone. “Oh, Susan at work had Covid and she was fine after ten days.” “My neighbour was back at the gym after three weeks.” “My cousin ran a half marathon six weeks later.” Brilliant. Good for Susan. Well done, neighbour. Congratulations, cousin. Meanwhile I was celebrating the fact I’d managed

Strap in. Cancel plans. Text your loved ones. Hydrate aggressively. This post is going to be LONGER, LOUDER, UNHINGED, UNEDITED, and EXTREMELY JABatha. Right. FIRST THINGS FIRST. Admin. Housekeeping. Clearing the air. YES - I am aware I vanished. NO - this was not a creative sabbatical. NO - this was not a “strategic pause”. NO - this was not a soft launch of mystery, intrigue, or personal rebrand. NO - I did not go on Eat Pray Love. If anything, I went on Cough Wheeze Dissoc

WEIGH-IN WEEK 21: THE POLISH PIEROGI PARADOX (aka: How I Lost 0.5 lbs While Acting Like a Competitive Eater in Kraków) Week 21. 10 mg jab. 0.5 lbs down. Total loss: 32.2 lbs / 14.6 kg. And honestly? After the last week, I should’ve been gaining the weight of a mid-sized toddler, not dropping half a pound. Because let’s be very clear: I did not behave like someone on a weight-loss journey. I behaved like someone unleashed into Poland with the emotional stability of a toddler a

Oh, where do I even begin? These last three days - Monday to Wednesday - have been a swirling tornado of snots, fevers, Zoom meetings, digestive rebellion, and existential dread. Apparently, I brought home a little souvenir virus from my recent Poland trip, because why wouldn’t I? Christmas markets are basically human anthills, and somewhere between dodging drunken Santas and elbowing my way to the mulled wine stall, I caught something that has now turned me into a sad, sligh

A very very long blog post, featuring: Poland, pierogi, panic, over 20k steps a day, history, sausages, ancestral ghosts, and one terrified British boyfriend meeting The Parents. My loves, gather close. This is the Holiday Edition of The Mounjaro Chronicles. The Odyssey of JABatha Christie. The almost 9-Day Polish Whirlwind Tour, where I: dragged my British boyfriend across four cities, walked more steps than a Fitbit employee on a performance review, ate more food than shoul

Thursday – Day 134: A human popsicle, a headache, and the emotional support of Stranger Things. I woke up Thursday feeling like a weak Victorian child who needed broth and a blanket and perhaps a fainting couch to dramatically collapse onto. Bit headachy, a touch fragile, and honestly the perfect candidate to star in a tragic Netflix documentary called “Not Today, Immune System”. And of course, I cannot be ill now. Absolutely not. Universe, LISTEN - I have Poland coming up. S

Tuesday - Day 132: The Jab Freeze & Pancake Apocalypse Worked from home. Normally that means luxury - a casual 7am wake up, soft housecoat, warm slippers, angelic soundtrack of purring cats. But no. My body said absolutely not and woke me at 5am like I had a train to catch to the Arctic. I laid there blinking at the ceiling wondering why my brain still thinks I’m on commuter duty even when there’s no need. Trauma. Pure trauma. The cats, strangely, were SILENT. No 5am opera. N

Monday. Office day. Also known as the weekly episode of “Will I Survive The Mounjaro Freeze or Become a Decorative Ice Sculpture Found in Zone 2?” Honestly, the way this jab has turned me into a walking glacier should qualify me for some sort of winter survival show. I slept in TWO layers of clothes, plus a duvet, plus a blanket, plus the heating on full blast. At this point I’m basically sleeping inside my own personal Michelin Man cosplay. And STILL I was cold. I woke up at

Saturday began with the kind of early start that makes you question your entire identity. Who books a hair appointment for 9am on a Saturday? I guess… me. Clearly I hate myself. Dragged myself out of bed, muttering something violent in the direction of my alarm, and immediately clutched my collagen coffee like it was an emotional support beverage. Honestly, at this point I don’t even know if collagen works but if it stops one hair from thinking about running away from my head

Thank GOD it’s Friday! And what a Friday it was - the kind of day that starts with you thinking, “Oh, I didn’t drink that much prosecco last night,” and ends with you clutching the kitchen counter like a Victorian heroine fainting at the sight of a corset. I genuinely didn’t think I drank that much. I was fine when I got home! Totally coherent, totally functional, totally not-on-the-verge-of-calling-myself-an-Uber-to-my-own-front-door. But no - the prosecco and all the rich f

Ohhhh buckle up, my darlings, because Thursday – DAY 127 served weather trauma, fashion excellence, public transport emotional damage, and Mounjaro-fuelled digestive foreshadowing. A buffet of chaos. A tasting menu of survival. A chef’s kiss of JABatha-level melodrama. Waking Up: The Ruby Radio Show™ Alarm goes off. Ruby immediately switches into her BREAKFAST BROADCAST MODE, like she’s about to read the 6am headlines on BBC News. Except the headlines are: “Mummy, I want snac

Weigh-In Week 18: The Tale Of The DISAPPEARING JABatha My darlings, gather round. Week 18 has arrived, and once again the scales have spoken, beeped, flashed, and declared: another 2.2lbs has left my body like a disgruntled tenant who finally realised they haven’t paid rent since 2016. This brings the grand total to a deliriously theatrical: 30.9lbs lost 14 entire kilograms evicted from my person - the equivalent of an ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY amount of mass that I will now compa