Week 21 Weigh-in - dose 10mg

WEIGH-IN WEEK 21: THE POLISH PIEROGI PARADOX

(aka: How I Lost 0.5 lbs While Acting Like a Competitive Eater in Kraków)

Week 21.

10 mg jab.

0.5 lbs down.

Total loss: 32.2 lbs / 14.6 kg.

And honestly?

After the last week, I should’ve been gaining the weight of a mid-sized toddler, not dropping half a pound.

Because let’s be very clear:

I did not behave like someone on a weight-loss journey.

I behaved like someone unleashed into Poland with the emotional stability of a toddler and the appetite of a trucker.

I didn’t just eat.

I conducted a week-long culinary investigation:

“How many Polish foods can one woman consume before gravity gives up?”

Day 1: The Return to the Homeland (aka ‘Carbs, Come to Mummy’)

You know that moment you land in Poland and the airport smell hits you? That combination of pretzels, jet fuel and ancestral trauma?

My stomach basically stood to attention like:

YES.

FEED ME MY HERITAGE.

First stop? Żabka.

Because nothing says “I’m home” like a random convenience store sandwich that tastes like childhood disappointment.

But then it escalated: oscypek, pierogi, żurek, placki ziemniaczane, hot wine, pastries, the entire carbohydrate GDP of Poland… I lost control FAST.

My ancestors were cheering.

My pancreas was filing HR complaints.

The Pierogi Phase (aka ‘Emotional Support Dumplings’)

Look… I don’t know who needs to hear this, but:

pierogi are 100% emotional support creatures.

You cannot be sad holding a warm dumpling.

You also cannot be skinny holding twelve of them, but that didn’t stop me.

There was a moment where the waiter asked,

“Would you like sour cream?”

And I - already sweating from food - responded,

“Sir, at this point I need emotional guidance, not questions.”

But yes.

I got the sour cream.

Obviously.

Cake?

Yes.

Dessert?

Yes.

Regret?

Shh, later.

I became a dessert detective.

If there was something with cream, icing, jelly, filling, crumbs, sugar, chocolate, or an unnecessary amount of whipped cream, I was THERE.

Polish bakeries don’t play games.

They don’t give “little treats.”

They give absolute units of cake.

Cake the size of small furniture.

My cake consumption schedule could’ve been printed and handed out as a festival line-up.

I was unstoppable.

Meat?

Of course.

Always.

And usually breaded.

You know how some people go travelling to “find themselves”?

I go to Poland and find schabowy.

Big, flat, breaded, life-affirming schabowy that whispers,

“Why diet when you can eat me with potatoes?”

And let’s not even talk about kiełbasa.

I was like a Victorian child seeing electricity for the first time.

The Bloating Stage (aka ‘I Have Become Pierogi, Destroyer of Jeans’)

At one point I looked down and thought:

“Oh. I’ve developed a third stomach. Nice.”

I wasn’t bloated…

I was inflated, like someone pumped me full of boiled potatoes and optimism.

My jeans were doing the Lord’s work.

Honestly, they deserve their own Nobel Peace Prize.

Weigh-In Day: The Polish Food Plot Twist

I stepped onto the scale like it was a courtroom.

I was READY to accept my fate.

I fully expected to see a number so high it would ask for its own postcode.

But no.

Instead:

–0.5 lbs

A LOSS.

A tiny, polite, “hey girl, I see your struggle” loss.

I nearly fell off the scale.

I stared at it like it had just confessed it was actually my long-lost sibling.

How?

WHY??

Theories include:

Mounjaro looked at my food choices and whispered “absolutely not”

Stress calories burned from Polish family interactions

Walking over 20k steps every day

Running through airports

The sheer internal chaos of being bloated for 7 days straight

Witchcraft

Jesus

Whatever the reason, I’ll take it.

A loss is a loss.

And after the week I had?

This wasn’t a weight loss.

This was a miracle.

Total: 32.2 lbs / 14.6 kg LOST.

Even with a Polish carb bender.

That’s like losing:

a medium suitcase

a chunky cocker spaniel

three litres of żurek

half of my will to live during that one day I had four meals

Week 21 proves:

Even when I behave like a walking carbohydrate vacuum…

Even when I treat dumplings like religion…

Even when I eat Poland like it’s an Olympic sport…

I STILL LOST WEIGHT.

Slow? Yes.

Shocking? Also yes.

Hilarious? Absolutely.

Onwards to Week 22, where I will hopefully behave like someone who has seen a vegetable before.

With Love,

JABatha Christie