Week 5 Weigh-In: Pounds on the Run, Hot Water Bottles in Tow Dear readers, brace yourselves. Today I stood before the scales – that...

My deepest apologies for vanishing for a couple of days, but frankly, my body has been hijacked by some sort of hellish entity. A strain,...

Apologies, my darlings, for going radio silent for four whole days. I know, unforgivable. Normally I’d never vanish without at least a...

This morning’s wake-up call was less “birds chirping in the sunshine” and more “a certain furry someone’s butt parked directly on my...

Week 4 Weigh-In: The One Where I Graduate to the Big Jab Ladies, gents, and fellow jabbers… Week 4 weigh-in is in the bag. And the...

Woke up at 5 a.m. for absolutely no reason other than my body enjoys torment. My nose was blocked, my throat was sore, my mouth was so...

Last night was one for the medical history books. Shivers, fever, headache, sore throat - basically my body had gone full “Windows is...

Last night, in a move both glamorous and vaguely medical, I slapped a fresh estrogen patch squarely onto my right butt cheek. Felt like a...

Last night was the Sturgeon Moon - big, bright, and beautiful. Apparently it also triggers my cats into a three-day festival of chaos....

I slept like a log last night - if a log had a small, furry, whiskered overlord perched on top of it, occasionally swivelling round so...

I have no idea what was going on with Cat 1 last night, but whatever podcast she was recording between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. was next-level...

Week 3 Weigh-In - The Plot Twist No One Asked For Drumroll please… 🥁 climbs onto the scale like it’s a medieval torture device… and the...

Last night’s entertainment was a full menu of cancelled men and architectural drama: Masterchef - starring John “Dry Chicken” Torode and...

Early start today! I think I slept like a bear - the kind that’s been tranquillised, fed a cheese board, and tucked into a weighted...

Last night I was anxious and jittery for absolutely no reason. Could it have been the Mounjaro? Hormones? Or maybe a premonition that I...

Slept like an angel. An angel with a cat’s bum lovingly pressed into her face, because apparently that’s how cats express trust now. What...

Slept like a heavily sedated Victorian heiress - finally back in my own bed, with all my pillows arranged just so. You know the drill:...

Breaking News from The Mysterious Case Files of JABatha Christie (Post slightly delayed due to an impromptu investigation in Belgium...

Woke up to monsoon season apparently relocated to Brussels. Packed bags with all the grace of a soggy ferret and inhaled a protein bar...

Choppy night - classic case of “not our bed” syndrome. Woke up every 45 minutes like I was being interrogated by MI5. Honestly? I’d have...