Day 9: The Curious Case of the Haunted Eyeball, Dental Humiliation & BBQ Fatigue

Sleep was meh. Slightly interrupted by what I can only describe as headache meets hangover with a side of cotton mouth - and no, I didn't have a wild night, unless you count neck stiffness and hormonal sabotage as night life.

Is it the jab? The HRT? Or just a full moon over Menopause Hill?

And then...the dream.

Not your usual "I forgot my trousers at work" kind. No, no.

I dreamt I had a weird fleshy growth ON MY EYEBALL - like something straight out of Stranger Things.

Halloween's not for months, but apparently my subconscious missed the memo.

Breakfast?

Protein bowl, take one. Nope.

Take two. Still nope.

Take three...okay, we are in!

It was topped with freeze-dried raspberries and cocoa powder because I am an astronaut now!

Lunch didn't happen. My appetite ghosted me. Only had a Graze protein bar and called it haute cuisine.

Then...the dentist!

Absolutely not my vibe.

The hygienist asked me - dead serious - to show her how I brush my teeth. Like I was auditioning for a toothpaste commercial or taking part in some BBC hidden camera experiment called "Britain's Next Top Brusher"!

What's next??? Oral choreography??

Popped into Sainsbury's after.

A full-body sensory assault:

Shelves of food I don't even want, lighting that could trigger migraines, and characters who definitely shouldn't be left unsupervised around avocados.

Also...The smells!!!

Someone near the bakery aisle smelled like regret and raw onions. Another person gave off strong notes of wet dog and expired Lynx Africa.

It was "less" grocery shop and more "interactive smell museum". A whole event. 10/10 would not recommend.

Dinner was BBQ chicken and sweet potato - delicious, but my stomach said, "Cute. We're done."

The days of hoovering plates are officially over.

Water and ginger chews are now my BFFs, and I'm weirdly okay with that!

Next week I am off to Brussels and honestly? I have no idea what I will eat there.

Belgian waffles? Frites? Protein bars shaped like a waffle? I guess we'll see!

Highlight of the day?

I have published my blog! It's funny, it's HONEST (very HONEST), it's full of sass and mildly deranged metaphors. I am low-key proud and high-key nervous, but we move.

Currently catching up on The Rookie.

Lucy and Tim: will they ever get back together? The chemistry is hotter than my sweet potato.

Meanwhile, John and Bailey... sorry, I have seen more sparks from a damp sponge.

Just saying...

With Love,

JABatha Christie