Day 122 & 123: Weekend Edition: 10mg, McDonald’s Micro-Muffins & The Green Goddess Awakening

By your girl, JABatha Christie - solving mysteries, losing appetites, and surviving cat podcasts since Day 1.

Let me take you back… way back… to Friday at 3pm, when I jabbed myself with 10mg and promptly transformed into a medically-induced Sleeping Beauty.

Honestly, I slept like a tranquilised otter drifting down a river of dreams, UNTIL the Cat Podcast between 5am and 6am - yes, Ruby and Molly launched their daily BBC MeowLive “Let’s ruin Mum’s REM cycle” episode.

10mg knocked me out, but even that dose can’t compete with feline scheduling.

But up we got anyway, because Mini - my beloved Mario Kart - had an MOT booking. Mini was due for her annual spa day, diagnostics, tyre gossip, and the occasional existential crisis.

And once you drop a car off, you must kill time.

So, obviously, McDonald’s breakfast because it's been way too long.

I ordered a Double Bacon & Egg McMuffin, which was:

1. Disgusting.

2. Smaller than last year.

3. Possibly smaller than the year before that.

4. Quite possibly now the size of a coaster.

I swear McDonald’s are slowly shrinking them until by 2030 it’ll be a microscopic breakfast atom you inhale rather than eat.

Next stop: Hobbycraft, because stickers are a need, not a want.

And then TK Maxx, a place where you enter looking for nothing and leave with three scented candles, two mugs, a blanket, a skincare product made from Himalayan yak milk, and gifts for your parents (and “a few extras” that accidentally jumped into your basket for “future emergencies”).

After that, we wandered into another shop, found absolutely nothing, and declared the mission complete.

That’s how we killed three hours, like absolute weekend champions.

Back at the dealership:

Mini was shiny, polished, glistening like she’d just won Love Island: Car Edition.

The verdict?

• Front tyre: change ASAP

• Rear brake pads: soon-ish

• If you want her to perform like an actual Mario Kart: better cough up, sis.

Off we zoomed to M&S for food shopping, the Disneyland of adulting.

And listen… I LOVE M&S food.

Can I eat most of it now?

No.

But can my boyfriend?

Absolutely.

Nothing gets wasted except my hopes of ever finishing a full meal again.

And then - the highlight - GREEN GODDESS DIP

When I tell you this dip spiritually lifted me… I mean I tasted it and briefly believed in reincarnation.

If heaven served starters? It would be that dip.

SO GOOD.

Home again.

I chilled.

Side effects hit.

I crawled into bed with Ruby to watch TV like the emotionally fragile Victorian child I am.

Lunch?

Nope. But later we “shared” a curry. And by shared I mean:

• Me: 30%

• Him: the other 70%, plus the naan, plus anything that looked lonely on the plate.

We watched some sport, then finished The Iris Effect, which ended like the writers gave up halfway through and let ChatGPT from 2019 finish the script. Shocking!

Awful!

Disconnected!

RUBBISH!

Then: 1% Club.

Brain not fully functional thanks to jabbing day change, but still managed not to embarrass myself.

Early night for me because I was about one sneeze away from falling asleep upright.

SUNDAY: The Sloth Diaries

Lazy.

Low energy.

Bit anxious for no reason whatsoever other than being alive.

And let me say it again:

I.

NEED.

TO. DRINK.

MORE. WATER.

My kidneys are probably in the group chat like “is she okay???”

Arm still sore from steroid injection, but better.

Small wins.

Did two loads of washing like the domestic goddess I never applied to be.

Ruby joined me for TV time while Molly switched loyalties and claimed the heated downstairs territory because cats = fickle dictators.

And yes… it is officially Hallmark Christmas Movie Season.

I watched one so heartwarming, uplifting, and wholesome… that it sent me straight to sleep.

Hallmark is my melatonin.

Woke up just in time for dinner.

And OH MY GOD - my other half made the most delicious lemon, garlic & herb butter chicken with steamed veg.

Gordon Ramsay would weep.

But could I finish it?

No.

I ate about half before my stomach said:

“No more. We are the size of a small coin purse now. Respect our boundaries.”

Honestly, the size of my stomach might now be comparable to:

• A modestly stuffed Kinder Surprise egg.

• A teeny-tiny thimble from a Victorian sewing kit.

• The coin pouch your nan gave you in 1994.

• The black hole inside a Dyson.

TV was taken over by NFL and PS5 tag-teaming their dominance.

I agreed to stay downstairs ONLY if I got back and neck scratches.

The Negotiations of Love™.

Finally went to bed at 9 to watch Netflix on my phone.

Fell asleep.

Thank God I set my 5am alarm because Monday = office day and those trains wait for nobody.

Final Thoughts From Your Jabbed Queen:

It was a lovely weekend - chill, cosy, productive-ish, full of food I didn’t finish, cats who disrupted sleep, and dips that changed my life.

Winter is definitely coming. I’m READY for it.

Bring on the cold, the jumpers, the moody skies, the absolute vibe of it all.

As for staying on 10mg or going up to 12.5mg?

Who knows.

We’ll see how next week goes.

One thing is for sure:

Whatever happens… the Chronicles continue.

With Love,

JABatha Christie