Day 100: Vomit, Victory & Very Questionable Life Choices - 100 days jabbed, bloated, and still standing (barely).
- Oct 24
- 4 min read
Well, my darling Jabbers… we made it.
ONE.
HUNDRED.
DAYS.
A whole century of jabs, cravings, burps, plateaus, triumphs, and toilets.
And how did I celebrate this momentous milestone, you ask?
By starting the morning with my head in the toilet.
No, not because of champagne or questionable kebabs.
Not even because I wanted to admire my new toilet duck.
But because my stomach decided, “You know what would be fun?
Let’s expel everything she’s eaten since August.”
It was like a gastric exorcism.
A farewell party for last month’s Itsu, Pret, and maybe some regrets from 2009.
The Glamour of Mounjaro Life:
Honestly, it wasn’t the start I’d envisioned.
I thought I’d wake up on Day 100 feeling triumphant - glowing, zen, maybe holding a celery juice in one hand and my new waistline in the other.
Instead, there I was, clutching the loo, whispering, “This too shall pass,” while wondering if I could classify projectile vomiting as cardio.
But once the drama subsided (and I’d regained my will to live), I decided to focus on what this day was truly about: the journey.
100 days on Mounjaro.
100 days of transformation, tears, triumphs, and toilets.
So grab your oat flat whites, Jabbers - because it’s time for…
JABATHA CHRISTIE’S 100 DAYS OF MOUNJARO: THE HIGHLIGHTS, HIGHS & HILARIOUS HORRORS
THE HIGHS (or: The Glorious Glow-Ups):
The Weight Loss (obvs)
Watching those numbers drop (well, most weeks) was pure serotonin.
Every pound gone felt like a tiny victory over bread.
The Silence of the Food Noise
For weeks, my brain stopped screaming “Eat!” every five minutes.
It was blissful.
I could walk past cake without needing emotional support.
Clothes That Fit Again
Jeans that once tried to cut me in half?
Now they glide on like butter on toast (ugh, why did I say toast?).
Energy Levels That Surprised Me
Okay, not daily, but some mornings I actually wanted to do stuff.
Like a person!
Confidence creeping back in
I started walking taller.
Feeling more like myself again.
The version who doesn’t panic when someone mentions “beachwear.”
Compliments
“You look amazing!” - music to my ears.
“Have you been ill?” - less so, but still… progress!
Less Bloating (most days)
Some mornings I woke up feeling light and fabulous.
Other mornings, I resembled a pufferfish with opinions.
A New Relationship With Food
I’ve stopped worshipping snacks like religious relics.
Sometimes I even forget to eat (my pre-Mounjaro self would’ve fainted at that sentence).
My Cat Ruby’s Approval
She’s taken to sleeping on me again, now that I’m less of a human beanbag.
Discovering the JABatha Christie Community (you lot!)
Writing these ridiculous chronicles, laughing with you all - it’s kept me sane. Well, semi-sane.
Decrease in ADHD Symptoms
This one surprised me - my focus has been sharper, my racing thoughts have slowed, and I’ve actually finished tasks! Who is she?! Suddenly, I can concentrate long enough to complete a spreadsheet without accidentally reorganising the fridge halfway through. A genuine miracle.
THE LOWS (aka The Side Effects, Sins & Shocks):
Nausea, my old nemesis
Like being on a cruise ship in a thunderstorm - 24/7.
Constipation vs. Diarrhoea: The Never-Ending Battle
Some weeks I’m the Sahara, others it’s Niagara.
There is no in-between.
The Great Vomiting Spectacular (aka Today)
10/10 for commitment.
0/10 would recommend.
Food Aversion Roulette
One week I loved salmon.
The next week? Couldn’t even look at it without dry heaving.
The Plateau
Weeks 13–14: nothing.
Nada.
Zip.
The scales just mocked me.
The Fatigue
Some days I was a productivity goddess.
Other days, a sentient duvet.
The Bloating
Mounjaro stomach has its own zip code.
I could open a helium business with the amount of internal gas produced.
The Weird Taste in My Mouth
Metallic.
Medicinal.
Like I’d licked a robot.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
One day I’m Beyoncé, next day I’m crying over a croissant.
The Cost of Pret & Protein Yogurt
My wallet weeps.
Truly.
The Return of Hibernating Gastroparesis
Just when I thought it was gone for good - surprise!
Back from its nap like a vengeful ghost.
Sluggish digestion, unpredictable stomach rebellion, and that familiar “oh dear God why” feeling after two bites of anything remotely solid.
Welcome back, my unwanted old friend.
THE RANDOM MOMENTS THAT MADE IT MEMORABLE:
Discovering I now function perfectly on 5 hours of sleep and caffeine.
My GP calling me “a success story” while I clutched my stomach and whispered, “Define success.”
The day I turned into a Smurf thanks to blue Bircher muesli.
Learning that “plateau” isn’t just a noun - it’s a lifestyle.
Being personally victimised by Pret’s breakfast options.
Accidentally baptising pedestrians during Storm Benjamin.
Finding out my ear canals are narrower than my patience.
Watching Monster: The Ed Gein Story and realising I may never sleep again.
Waking up at 5am for no reason other than to hate it.
Saying “I’ll skip dinner” and then inhaling an Itsu poke bowl in 43 seconds flat.
Ruby’s 3am “meow podcast” episodes - no guest list, no mercy.
Discovering that a “normal” appetite returning is terrifying.
Learning the art of jab placement (a skill best not practised post-Prosecco).
And of course - writing every single ridiculous day down for you lot.
WHAT I’VE LEARNED (APART FROM HOW TO PEE WHILE HOLDING A PROTEIN SHAKE):
Progress isn’t linear - it’s messy, smelly, and occasionally vomit-stained.
The scale doesn’t always tell the truth. But my jeans do.
Mounjaro is not a miracle; it’s a tool. The real magic is the stubbornness to keep going.
You can survive anything with caffeine, dark humour, and elastic waistbands.
And most importantly: You’re not a failure just because your body doesn’t play by the rules.
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