Day 3: The Case of the Salty Surprise

Slept like a sedated sloth on a Tempur mattress - 10/10, would recommend.

Woke up with that familiar "am I on a cruise ship or just mildly broken?" boat-like nausea.

Went full Hobbit - had first breakfast and second breakfast, I physically just couldn't finish the first one. It was my majestic protein bowl again, so beautiful it deserved to be framed and hung in Louvre next to the Mona Lisa - not picked at like I was a confused squirrel in active recovery.

Then things got chaotic:

Had a wholemeal thin stacked with chicken, egg, salad, spring onions...

Five minutes later: "Hello darkness, my old friend". Ginger chews came to the rescue like emotional support gummies.

Watched rugby with my better half - knew the rules, shouted "offside!" like a woman possessed, and nearly threw a ginger chew at the TV when ref ignored a blatant knock-on! 10/10 performance. Might bench myself for excessive passion next time...

Then bam - fatigue hit me like a toddler with a pool noodle. Nap time. Unplanned. Sudden. Dramatic.

And... I nearly committed a felony by stepping on the scales...but JABatha resisted. A true icon of restraint.

To distract myself (and my stomach), I powered through a 12,000-step walk like a crazy woman - part fitness, part flight response. Legs were thriving. Gut? Still suspicious.

Dinner? A naked grass-fed burger with baked sweet potato and a gang of innocent vegetables. Yes, naked - no bun, no cheese, just vibes, vitamins, and the distant memory of fries. Basically a burger in witness protection.

My stomach however, filed an official complaint.

It responded with a full-off Broadway production of "WTF Is This?" - starring dramatic gurgles, suspicious bubbling, and a rogue burp solo that sounded like a haunted espresso machine mid-breakdown.

Honestly? The plate said fine dining, but my gut said paranormal activity meets gas leak.

Pretty sure sweet potato was the ring leader. Sat there all innocent, but I know it summoned the chaos.

Weird Observations of the Day:

I don't want alcohol. WHO EVEN AM I?

Why does everything taste like I licked a salt lamp???

Is my taste recalibrating or am I part-mermaid now? Anyone else???

Tomorrow: Will I still be queasy sea captain? Will ginger propose? Will I accidently weigh myself in a trance?

Stay tuned!

With Love,

JABatha Christie