Well, my darlings… it’s official. Thursday Jab Day has been retired. Gone. Over. Finished. He served me faithfully for 16 dramatic, bloated, and occasionally constipated weeks - but the time has come for change. Yes, I, JABatha Christie, have switched allegiance. The new era has dawned. Welcome to Friday Jab Day - same needle, new vibe. Thursday evenings were becoming… too much. The pressure. The anticipation. Jabbing too late. The emotional rollercoaster of weigh-ins, self-r

Weigh-In Week 15: The Great Plateau Panic! Well. Here we are. Week 15. Three. Whole. Weeks. Of. NOTHING. AGAIN! Not a single gram. Not even the faintest whisper of a decimal. The scales just sat there this morning, mocking me in complete silence, like “You again?” Honestly, at this point, I think my bathroom scales are gaslighting me. I’ve cleaned them. I’ve moved them. I’ve whispered affirmations at them. I even stepped on one foot first just to see if they’d show mercy. Nop

Ah, the sweet joy of working from home - also known as “the illusion of peace until your cat decides you’ve slept enough.” This morning, I was deep in a glorious dream involving a spa, Idris Elba, and unlimited snacks that somehow didn’t count as calories… when BAM! Molly the Cat decided I was her breakfast butler. Full leap, claws of doom, right onto my stomach. “FEED ME, WOMAN!” So naturally, I stumbled out of bed half-asleep, hair resembling a tumbleweed, muttering somethi

Well, hello darkness my old friend - literally. Because that’s what greeted me at 5am this morning. Again. Dragged myself out of bed expecting to trip over a cat or three… and nothing. Not a whisker in sight. Weird, I thought. Had they finally run away to a better life? But then it hit me - the heating! We had the radiators on last night because winter is creeping in, and I bet my last Mounjaro pen those little furballs were welded to them like fluffy hot water bottles. Hones

Ah, Day 103. Otherwise known as: “Why am I awake at 5am when I could be a cat?” After a gloriously lazy Sunday filled with Netflix marathons, cat cuddles that verged on emotional therapy, and zero ambition to do anything productive, my Monday morning self was not thriving. When the alarm went off at 5, I had an out-of-body experience. I could see myself in bed, wrapped up like a burrito of denial, muttering, “No. Absolutely not.” But in a true Jabatha Christie style, I rose f

(A JABatha Christie special: starring toast, gastroparesis, and one delusional Cruella De Vil) Wow. What. A. Weekend. Honestly, if there were medals for surviving chaos wrapped in glitter and digestive failure - I’d be a gold medallist by now. Saturday - The Witching Hour Begins 🧙‍♀️🎶 It started slow… too slow. A lazy Saturday morning, the calm before the storm. I had plans - big plans - but my stomach apparently had other ones, namely, “let’s retch dramatically for no reas

Slightly different post today my fellow Jabbers! A bit of a reflection really… Ah, Mounjaro. The tiny weekly syringe that launched a thousand lifestyle overhauls - part miracle, part menace, all drama. The jab that promised control, calm, and confidence… and delivered a side order of nausea, introspection, and burps that could rattle crockery. When I started, I imagined Mounjaro would turn me into that woman - you know the one: sipping lemon water, glowing like she’s sponsore

Wow. What. A. Night. Friends, Romans, Jabbers… lend me your disinfectant. Because I have survived the feline equivalent of a zombie apocalypse - but with more hairballs and less sense of mercy. Let’s start with the obvious: I did not sleep. At all. Well, maybe there was an hour in there somewhere, sandwiched between the sounds of retching, the frantic scrabble of paws, and me muttering, “Oh God, not again,” into a roll of kitchen towel. My poor baby Ruby - Queen of Chaos, Duc

My darlings, please accept my deepest apologies for the radio silence - I promise I haven’t been abducted by Vecna or enrolled in a champagne appreciation course (though both are equally plausible). The truth is far simpler and far more fabulous: I was celebrating my birthday. And not just any birthday - the kind that leaves your liver writing strongly worded letters to your brain. Let us rewind to Friday, a.k.a. Day 93, a.k.a. “The Great London Adventure.” FRIDAY - Strange

Ah, Wednesday. Bin day. The day of domestic glamour and olfactory challenges. I awoke to the gentle purr of Ruby - my sweet, spewy alarm clock - perched elegantly upon my chest. A vision of feline serenity… until I realised she had once again redecorated the carpet. And, for added flair, the freshly washed duvet. With undigested food. Truly, a multi-sensory experience. Poor baby. Although… between her nausea and my appetite swings, I’m beginning to suspect she’s been sneaking

My darling Jabbers, please forgive my radio silence these past four days - I assure you I have neither joined a cult nor eloped with a breadstick. It’s simply been… two lazy days and two crazy days. A true yin and yang of Mounjaro life. The scales of chaos and calm delicately balanced atop a pile of cat sick, mashed potatoes, and questionable decision-making. Let’s dive in. Saturday: The Day of the Sick Cat and Cancelled Zen The day began as all great tragedies do: with a noi

Slept like an absolute dream. Honestly, my bed deserves an award. A BAFTA, an MBE, something. It’s the only consistent relationship in my...

Ahhh Mondays. That cursed invention of the calendar where the universe collectively decides to remind you that the weekend is over and...

Oh my sweet jabbers, gather round. This weekend, I achieved something truly spectacular. Some people run marathons. Others climb...

Ah, Friday. The crown jewel of the working week. The day that says: “Hang on love, you’ve survived emails, meetings, Teams calls that...

This morning, I had the privilege (read: punishment) of tuning into Meow Cast FM, also known as The Cat Podcast, which aired live from 3...

The Case of the Disappearing Pounds Ladies, gents, and fellow detectives in the true crime meets true carbs universe, gather round: we’ve...

Seventy. Days. On. Mounjaro. Can we just take a moment? Because at this point, I feel like I should be receiving a telegram from the...

Alright, buckle up my darling Watsons, because Day 69 isn’t just another diary entry – this is the origin story of JABatha Christie. The...

Well my darlings, today was supposed to be a productive “office-ready, power-suit, boss-lady” kind of day. But instead, the universe...