My darlings, please accept my deepest apologies for the radio silence - I promise I haven’t been abducted by Vecna or enrolled in a champagne appreciation course (though both are equally plausible). The truth is far simpler and far more fabulous: I was celebrating my birthday. And not just any birthday - the kind that leaves your liver writing strongly worded letters to your brain. Let us rewind to Friday, a.k.a. Day 93, a.k.a. “The Great London Adventure.” FRIDAY - Strange

A JABatha Christie Original: Thursday, Sponsored by Fatigue, Felines, and Fear of Coldwater. My darling Jabbers, we’ve made it to Day 92. Ninety-two whole days of jabs, naps, soup, and the occasional near-death experience with carpet vomit. And speaking of carpets - you’ll be delighted to know that there was no sick today! A small victory in the household, as I awoke to Ruby’s usual 5am Podcast of Chaos (working title: Purring, Shuffling, and Random Headbutts: The Feline Awak

The Scale Betrayal Chronicles My darling Jabbers, gather round. I have news. Grim, unjust, soul-crushing news. After a week of saintly behaviour - salads, water, not even sniffing a biscuit - I stepped on the scales this morning and… nothing. Not an ounce. Not a gram. Not even the faint suggestion of a wobble in the right direction. The number glared back at me, smug and unchanging, as if to say, “Cute try, darling. But no.” Now, I know, I know - “weight loss isn’t linear,” “

Ah, Wednesday. Bin day. The day of domestic glamour and olfactory challenges. I awoke to the gentle purr of Ruby - my sweet, spewy alarm clock - perched elegantly upon my chest. A vision of feline serenity… until I realised she had once again redecorated the carpet. And, for added flair, the freshly washed duvet. With undigested food. Truly, a multi-sensory experience. Poor baby. Although… between her nausea and my appetite swings, I’m beginning to suspect she’s been sneaking

My darling Jabbers, please forgive my radio silence these past four days - I assure you I have neither joined a cult nor eloped with a breadstick. It’s simply been… two lazy days and two crazy days. A true yin and yang of Mounjaro life. The scales of chaos and calm delicately balanced atop a pile of cat sick, mashed potatoes, and questionable decision-making. Let’s dive in. Saturday: The Day of the Sick Cat and Cancelled Zen The day began as all great tragedies do: with a noi

Slept like an absolute dream. Honestly, my bed deserves an award. A BAFTA, an MBE, something. It’s the only consistent relationship in my...

Ah, Day 85. A day that began with feline chaos, ended under a duvet, and somewhere in between involved a monumental personal victory, a...

The Case of the Disappearing Me (Down 25.8 lbs!) Twelve weeks. Three months. 84 days of needles, nausea, dry heaving, and cats sitting on...

Worked from home today, which sounds relaxing in theory - in reality, it was a phlegm-filled, retch-powered symphony of coughs, wheezes...

Apologies for the radio silence, my fellow Jabbers! I have been under the weather - and not in a poetic, “moody raincloud over a Paris...

Slept like an absolute baby, with the chunky feline butt of Ruby the Purring Machine firmly planted on my chest. Honestly, if there were...

Weigh-in day, baby! The alarm went off and before I even opened my eyes, I knew today was the day of reckoning. First, though, I had to...

The Plot Thickens (or Should I Say Thins?) Ladies, gents, and fellow carb detectives – welcome to Episode 77 of CSI: My Waistline. This...

Day 77. WOW. Let’s talk about sevens. In numerology, a single 7 means wisdom, intuition, and spiritual awakening. Basically, it’s the...

Another office day. Another 5am wake-up. At this point, I feel like I should just legally change my name to “The Human Alarm Clock”...

Ahhh Mondays. That cursed invention of the calendar where the universe collectively decides to remind you that the weekend is over and...

Oh my sweet jabbers, gather round. This weekend, I achieved something truly spectacular. Some people run marathons. Others climb...

Ah, Friday. The crown jewel of the working week. The day that says: “Hang on love, you’ve survived emails, meetings, Teams calls that...

The Case of the Disappearing Pounds Ladies, gents, and fellow detectives in the true crime meets true carbs universe, gather round: we’ve...

Seventy. Days. On. Mounjaro. Can we just take a moment? Because at this point, I feel like I should be receiving a telegram from the...